Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Day 31 of 365

Okay! Who likes Girls with Guns?! *sings* -on LSD! Cell-infection, Mass-destruction, Program for the final function, Lab-rat king, rescue team-- sorry... got carried away...

Piece in progress. Gonna ink this. Drew it last year sometime at John Mahoney's drawing day at CSG. Want to try to make it look like one of his pieces. May do two versions even. Having fun!

Monday, January 30, 2017

Day 30 of 365

So today I actually drew a bunch of little stuff, but I can't show anyone. hahahaha I want it to be a surprise. So, instead all you get is a teaser! YAY!

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Day 29 of 365

Stuck at Walmart today, getting an oil change. Found a prompter for drawing to kill the time. Got "The Grim Reaper". I realize this isn't much of a stretch of the idea, but hey! One day at a time.

I like this.

Friday, January 27, 2017

Day 27 of 365

See? Proof I still animate!

Ruth_penciltest from Amanda Candler on Vimeo.

There is no other way to say it- This sucks.

I have been fretting about how to write this for the past couple of days, not sure if I even wanted to broadcast it. Part of me just wants to slip away and not make a big deal about it, but as this is one of the difficult decisions I have had to make in years, I won't shy away from it.

Unless a job offer and an actual place to live begins to emerge in the next month, I will be moving back to Texas after February. I have been here in California for six years and 4 months. I have been couch/apt/floor-surfing/living in my car for the past 2 years and 8 months. I have had numerous little jobs and some of the most significant projects of my life in the interim, but I have also stayed with more friends that I can count- living on their floors or on their couches for anywhere from a couple of days to nearly 6 months at a time. I can never thank these people enough, but I am also running out of friends to ask. That, combined with the stress of not having a place to call my own, has brought me to the very unenviable position of having to consider going back to Texas. And believe me when I say, it is the very last thing in the world that I want. I love my family and friends there, but California is my home. I love it here more than I can possible say.

While I do not believe that Texas will be much better, the cost of living may enable me to survive while I still try to break into this frustrating but beloved industry of Animation. (It really is like being in an abusive relationship or something.... It beats me down to nothing and yet still, it is all I want.) I will have to find a place to live there as well, and somehow get myself there. No clue how that can be accomplished. Trying not to think about that just yet. Just trying to apply to absolutely everything I can until then and make sure I have a place to sleep.

Why am I telling all of you this? Because it is part of this crazy dream that started back in Texas, hell, maybe even in Baton Rouge... My blog is called "Making Dreams Come True" and like any really good story, I think I may be in the part generally referred to as "Dark Night of the Soul". (Thanks, Robert McKee.... *eye roll*) I have to hit bottom before the hero of the story can rise up and get their deepest desire/goal. I just wish mine didn't involve having to leave California. I would almost rather be actually LIVING in my car like a homeless person rather than leave. It was SO HARD to get out the first time. It took me YEARS of scrapping money together and taking jobs that I hated to get more money to buy that one-way plane ticket. Going back to that will hurt more than I can even handle right now.

At least here, I thought I was moving in the right direction. I completed an animation test recently for a small independent studio position as an inbetweener, and was even offered the job before I was informed that it was an unpaid internship. That hurt pretty deeply. I thought I was so close.

SO! Though I am a bit of a broken woman right now, I will continue to draw, I will continue to animate. Hell, maybe I will even finally make that crowd-funding video to try to finish my third and fourth year films. I am not giving up... just giving in. And secretly hoping that in less than a month I will be able to look back on this post and think, "Damn! So glad I dodged THAT bullet!" (The sign of an eternal optimist, yes?) I don't tell you all all of this for sympathy. I don't want sympathy. Hell, if anything- send me job openings to apply for, not condolences.

Wish me luck. Here's hoping.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Day 24 of 365

And of course fox anatomy turns into PUPPY anatomy! haha! Got to draw my friend's dog while he followed her around as she was cooking. His feet are so complex! And bendy!

Monday, January 23, 2017

Day 23 of 365

Finished the animation test last night. Very proud with how far it had come. Sent it off to the job posting, they emailed me back almost immediately. They offered me a position to help animate their trailer. I was elated. They also sent me an agreement to sign. Unfortunately, the agreement specified something that had not been made clear in the job posting. It was an unpaid internship only. I had to bow out of the project as I am not able to work for free- and I don't think anyone should have to do something like that for nothing. If your financial situation is as such that you can gamble on an unpaid position, then I am very glad for you, but the reality is: there are bills to pay. And animation is not free. I love this art form too much and respect myself too much to cheat myself. I wished them well and, Lord knows, if they came back and offered compensation as their original posting mentioned, I would GLADLY work on it. Otherwise- I am on to the next thing.

Today was FOX ANATOMY! Then that turned into a quick rough of what a fox jump might look like. Had way to much fun with this. Expect more later. <3 Love you all!

By the by- I highly recommend watching jumping fox videos! They are a DELIGHT!

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Day 21 of 365

Hands, hands- everywhere! So many hands, they're getting in my hair!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Day 17 of 365

Though I have not been updating, I have been drawing. Well... animating. Isn't that very much like being the same thing? Only... more of it... and harder?

Do you know how hard it is to make cute little Disney-esque girls still cute when they are making goofy faces?! It's HARD!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Day 12 of 365

Been animating a test. It's short- but I am at least drawing every day.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Day 9 of 365

Today is one year, at - actually right about this time- I got a phone call from my dad. He led up to what he was going to say in such a way that I went outside.

Nana had died.

Normally, I am not one to harp on people who have passed away. I don't understand why people tattoo loved ones with their date of death on their bodies, make memorial stickers and put them on their vehicles, or make a t-shirt with the loved one's death information on it. That kind of grieving or coping just makes no sense to me. Tattoos of things that remind you of your loved ones, I get. I've painted cardinals on Christmas cards in memory of my Pawpaw. I've bought polar bear Christmas cards for my Grandpa Pete. I've loved prisms and talked to passing milkweed seeds for my Grandma Lee. It is through my own memory though, that I remember the day they passed away. Every holiday from Thanksgiving to, formerly Christmas, now my birthday has been touched by the loss of some of my most loved family. Day after Thanksgiving, I lost Pawpaw. Two days before Christmas, I lost Grandma Lee. Five days before my birthday, I lost Nana. I hate the holidays for this reason. But I miss them so much.

So I guess the fact that I spent today animating is now in honor of them. Hug a loved one today.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Day 8 of 365

Did a silly one today at Five Guys at dinner. Prompt was a 50's gas station. No references. haha

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Day 7 of 365

I got to meet a 5' wide chicken today! Err... something like that. I got to meet Captain Jack. Wait, no- not that Captain Jack.

A rainbow-y birdy! He actually stood on my arm! It was SO COOL!

Next time I see him- it's gonna be WATERCOLORS!

Day 6 of 365

Whoever thinks this stuff is easy is out of their mind! It's like learning a whole new language!

Special kanji? pen from Japan my friend got for me. Practicing strokes. Man! What a humbling experience. haha!

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Day 5 of 365

Not really anything I am proud of, but it's something, yes?

I really need to muscle up for this! I am feeling very ill-prepared.

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Day 4 of 365

Tonight was life drawing night. Though the model was great, I didn't really get anything I liked. Que serĂ¡, serĂ¡. Keep going.

Until tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Day 3 of 365

Still going. Long, long way to go. Today's piece is a piece LONG owed to a friend.

I wish I could somehow relate the exact conversation and situation which resulted in this. All I know is that I thought it to be the funniest thing on Earth that night. And to tell the truth, remembering the circumstances, I STILL think it damn funny.

Monday, January 2, 2017

Day 2 of 365

Still not celebrating my ability to do two days in a row. That would 1) be stupid, and 2) well, one should be enough. Went to go see Moana AND Star Wars: Rogue One today with friends. Both were AWESOME flicks and tons of fun! I enjoyed both immensely. I highly recommend both. So when I got home, of course I needed to draw something to encapsulate that! It ain't much, just a doodle. I would like to try to work on caricatures this year.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Day 1 of 365

I said I would start posting pictures/sketches/studies/doodles daily. Here we go... Day 1.

My friend Ben's cat, Mogli. I swear though- this cat kitten NEVER STOPS MOVING! My favorite is the scratching one on the bottom. So rough and yet... it sort of came out exactly as I needed it to.