Friday, March 29, 2013

Self-Revelation

I discovered something today.

I sat down to eat my lunch (it being Spring Break here at school- the Caf is closed, so all must fend for themselves) and decided to put on a movie. Now, I had only intended to watch the first bit of it- you know, just long enough to eat my lunch- then get to work! I won't tell you which movie because I am ashamed that I love this movie as much as I do. And no, it wasn't Star Wars.

I am now listening to the closing credits. Yup, I watched the whole thing. I laughed out loud, I recited the words with the actors, sang along with the songs, and cried at the end. I do this with more movies than I care to admit to. (Recite them, not the crying part- although I do that too...) My sister can recite a few of them with me. We love to quote movies at each other. For a while, every text we would send each other would be a random movie quote. Whoever guessed the most, "won". My mom and I used to play the movie game. It started when we would see an actor/actress that we knew and we would have to name off all the other movies we knew that they had been in. I still do this, even though my mom is far away. When I see an actor in a movie, I immediately scan through my movie knowledge to see how many other movies I know them from. A good challenge for me is when I KNOW their face, but can't remember where I know them from! I rack my brain to try to figure it out before I am forced to give in and bring up IMDB.com on my phone or laptop.

I recently wrote up a favorites list for a res life activity in the dorms. I listed books, music, and movies. Three of my favorite things. But when I got to the movies list, I found myself wanting to list so many movies! Depending on the mood I am in, what era I am currently craving, etc. I love so many movies for so many different reasons! Sci-fi, fantasy, rom coms, dramas, action, adventure, comedies, musicals, war, mystery, historical, even a little horror... Then it hit me.

I am a film lover.

I think I have known this all along, but to have it so suddenly just dawn on me feels so strange and so comforting at the same time. There are films I hate- I won't deny that, but even so, I can try to find things in them that I do like. Maybe the production design (Anna Karenina), or one specific character (Obi-Wan in Star Wars 1-3), or the world that it exists in (Skyfall?). But then there are so many movies that I love- even the REALLY bad ones! The campy ones, the tragically funny-even-though-they-didn't-mean-to-be ones.

I truly love almost nothing more than sitting in a dark theater, allowing myself to enter a new world, or sometimes even an old and familiar one (sequels). I love the uncertainty- "What's going to happen to them?", "Who gets the bad guy?", "Are they ever going to be together?". And then I watch the same movies over and over and over again. I already KNOW the answers, but I enjoy the trip they take to get there so much, I am willing to go along for the ride again.

The list of movies I need to watch is so long right now, I don't know how I will ever finish it. And in a way- I never will. Because every week, another film is released. Usually more than one. Every week, my list gets a little longer. And sometimes I discover a movie by a certain director (Hitchcock), or with a certain actor/actress (Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant, the Hepburns, Lawrence Olivier, the list goes on!), or about a certain topic (English royalty) and then I am forced to go find all the other movies that they directed, starred in, made about that. Then the list can grow by 5 or more films in less than a day. People are constantly recommending films to me, and I always add them to the list. My favorite people are the people who recommend the good stuff. Then we have something to talk about.

If I were to be completely honest, I never WANT to finish my list. If I ever did, I don't know what I would do with the rest of my life. I imagine it would be like reaching the end of the internet. You've been to every page. No other options exist. Thankfully, someone creates a new page every day. There are so many films that I haven't seen- I am not claiming that I have seen everything. Hell, I just recently watched Pulp Fiction for the first time! No, I have so many to go. But the realization that I am a film lover means that I know that I am ready to watch them. All of them.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Post-Portfolio Day

Well, after a third completely atrocious Portfolio Day for me, I just wanted to let you guys know that I will not be posting my portfolio here for you guys to see. (I may post one or two little things from it, and I hope you guys will be okay with that.) I don't want to look at it. I don't like it. I'm not wallowing in self pity, or anything. I just need to look forward now, not back.
I know I can do this. I'm not sure what "this" IS... but I hope to find out.


I will actually make one quick confession. I miss drawing. I miss drawing for FUN! I miss drawing just because I WANT TO! I hate all the drawings I make ~for~ something (portfolios, films, etc.). I hope to start drawing for fun again soon. And THAT stuff, I will post.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Vignettes

Two little presents for you sweet followers (albeit as silent as you all are!) of my blog. Some vignettes from my portfolio.


Small Knot



Suspended Humor