Re: College Admissions Scandal

I feel much more comfortable voicing my opinions here on my own blog than I do on Facebook- go figure!

I've been half-following the college admissions scandal going on lately, called Operation Varsity Blues, and I have had thoughts. Part of me is simply shocked that people are trying to cheat their way into schools. Is UCLA, USC, or any other school mentioned in the scandal really worth all this? Is it so hard to get into college in California? As a non-native, I truly don't know. I do seem to recall though that parents out here seem to worry very much about what schools their kids go to here for high school or middle school, but it seems even as early as elementary school and PRE-SCHOOL! (Anyone who actually knows about this stuff, please enlighten me?)

I recall we had one student who cheated their way into CalArts Character Animation my year, and as much as I STILL believe it was the most atrocious decision on their part, I could understand in a small way. The acceptance rate at CalArts for the CharAnim program was lower than Harvard AND Yale! (And that was before applications were made available online- the percentage must be minuscule at this point. I honestly do not believe that if I applied today that I would be accepted.) I believe that I recall my animation teacher telling us on our first class on the first day of school to look at our chairs. For every one of us sitting in those chairs, there were NINE students who would've killed us for that spot. That made me feel both amazingly good and incredibly humble. I remember that I wanted to be WORTHY of that chair!

My main thought though through this whole scandal is: I feel unbelievably honored to have been accepted nine years ago. My parents had no money. We still don't. By that logic- I got accepted by my talent. I had no name to attach to my application. I had no recommendation. I applied- got rejected. Applied again- got accepted. I sometimes think about how quickly I got my acceptance letter. I was one of the first on the AnimatedBuzz.com forums to get a letter, the same way I had been one of the first to get a rejection letter the year before. My head says that the first portfolio I sent in was so bad that they didn't have to debate it. I was an "easy decision". That thought hurt. But- to be one of the first to get an acceptance letter... THAT made me think that perhaps I was good enough that they had no doubts about me. That felt pretty darn good.

Perhaps I am over-thinking it, as I often do. That's just who I am. But even with that very nice feeling, I never let that get to me. I fought every day at CalArts to be worthy. I discovered once I got there that any ideas I may have had of being "so good" that they accepted me immediately were completely unfounded. The talent pool at CalArts was devastating! I can still name classmates who routinely kicked my tail in every assignment. I wanted their camaraderie and the competition. THEY INSPIRED ME TO BE BETTER!

I feel for these kids wrapped up in this scandal. The news reported that many of them had NO IDEA that their parents had done this to them. Try to imagine being at this university: enrolled in classes, making friends, and suddenly- NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU ARE WORKING- your very presence is questioned. Your achievements, your grades- suddenly none of that matters. Now perhaps these kids are too desensitized to feel these feelings. They've had it good most of- if not ALL of- their lives. Money is barely a consideration to them. I tried to imagine if it were me. If my parents had somehow paid to get me into a school, and my immediate solution was to drop out of school. Regardless of the fact that I hadn't done anything wrong, I would not be able to bear the looks and judgments of my classmates. I would immediately start looking into applying to the same school again the next term, or applying to another school altogether- and WITHOUT my parents' knowledge. I would never want their help again.

Then I remember that this is me. My history and my life influenced that idea. I would be very curious to know what happens to these students-- what decisions they make in their future.

Summer Stuff and Busy Work

Okay, so now that I have finished my huge mega-project for the office, I am left with very little to actually DO!  That'll teach me!  I should stop working so ... hard...  and fast...  Yeah, THOSE are bad habits!  XD

In other news, one of my two papers for my incomplete is done.  Now to hammer out the second before school starts!  Actually, before I leave for Houston.  I am seriously excited and nervous to be going back to Texas...  I miss my friends and family (exactly one year since I have seen them!) but I have so little time.  I am terrified that I won't be able to see everyone.  Also food...  there is SO MUCH FOOD that I want!  Oh man, I never thought I would miss some of these places!

I'm glad I have roughly two days off once I get back before school starts though.  "Vacation"- aka: traveling and visiting always takes more out of you than what a "vacation" is supposed to do, which used to be RELAX!  But it will be the good kind of exhaustion when I get back!  I look forward to it.

Summer's been busy.  Not as "exciting" as I might have liked, but good.  I look forward to improving upon it next summer!
Also, I am striving to post WAAAAAAAAAAAAY more art here.  I am so sad to see that my 30 followers have nothing to say about this piddily little blog all the time...  I hope to give you guys something to talk about this year!  Keep me honest!  See ya on the other side!

FINALLY! Some PROGRESS!

I started coloring my first year film this weekend. My hope is that before the school year starts (or within a week or so of it), my film will be re-compiled with the coloring and ready to be sent to its first FESTIVAL!

NOTE: I have NO intention (ZERO, in fact) of it actually doing or accomplishing anything. I just want to do it to see what the process is like and therefore, be better equipped for the next time when I DO have hopes for my film!

So yay! Progress and productivity!

Tuition Prices

From article on Yahoo! today:

"A pricey four-year private college will set you back by a lot more, however: Bates, Connecticut, Middlebury, Union, and Colby Colleges all had tuitions of more than $50,000 per year, including fees and room and board. After scholarships and grants are taken into account, the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, Calif., is the most expensive, at $39,672 per year."

Man! And people say CalArts is expensive! So many people want to go to Art Center College of Design rather than CalArts, claiming it's "cheaper"! Whew! Funny how CalArts is not mentioned on these kinds of articles!

From the mind of Amanda, the "Mucus Machine"

After some serious consideration (and possibly due to my illness and the related craziness?), I have come to the conclusion that I need to do a complete overhaul of my film. I have to simplify it and bring it back down to where it is easily understood. I have been getting NUMEROUS notes from all over that it is not clear. I am not exactly happy about it, but I think it is for the best.

Meanwhile, my illness (a viral infection of my sinus cavity) is raging. I have moved into my dorm room for the recovery period. And I am SO NOT HAPPY about it! I want to work!!! I also missed my SECOND opportunity to go to the LA Zoo, only this time it included Deborah Ross!- one of America's leading wildlife artists.... I cried already. That also might be in part related to being sick. Nevertheless, I am miffed about missing it! But I know deep down that I would have only suffered had I gone. As it is, I am beyond thrilled that I got to see Ralph Eggleston in the Palace last night. <3 The suffering was worth it. I even sat in the front row. Since I have so much free time now, I will download those photos and post them today.

In other news... I am tired. School will be interesting this week as I cannot do homework. Also, I feel SO behind on my film now! As of this moment, I have not animated a single frame yet. But hear me now- I WILL finish this film!

Also- guess what my doc called the cough syrup he put me on! "A heavy narcotic!" BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Off to feel better. Later!

The End of All Things- I mean 2010! Pt.3

Whoa... this is taking a long time, but it feels good!

The third week of classes was again, a lot of the same routine. My classmates and I were still meeting each other and learning names and getting to know one another. The routine of classes was settling finally, and I LOVED IT!

In 2D, we made a ball bounce across the page and started working on a blade of grass. CG Foundation was canceled that week, so I utilized that time as best I could. The entire freshman class was hammering out animatics still, because they were due the next week. We needed to use After Effects to make them and I didn't even know how to use the freaking program! So that was.... INTERESTING! But that Friday was my first Pay Day! YAY! Also, it was Visiting Artists night with the AMAZING MARK ANDREWS! (Aka- "Mandrews"... don't ask me why, I don't know!)


Yes, that is what you think it is... We honestly lost the true count...




Again- what he talked about, I am not at liberty to say, but my journal has everything ALLLLL WRITTEN DOWN! I will keep it forever, and it will keep me warm on cold nights! XD MWA-HAHAHA!!!!

That weekend, ALL I worked on was my animatic and Color & Design.
Here's the work I'd done so far.










The next week was kind of interesting though... On October 5th, we had a special guest come to CalArts- Jeffrey Katzenberg! Now, I should confess something... the ENTIRE department had their panties in a twist over this guy coming to see us... I just... didn't! I will admit, he used to be a big deal at Disney- and that's where I remember him from- all the mini-segments before Disney movies played on TV when I was a kid. But as for Jeffrey Katzenberg, the CEO or whatever of Dreamworks, I was not a twitter with excitement. That is not to say that I did not GO! HAHA! Unfortunately, you will not find any pictures of him on my blog, not me getting his autograph. It was strictly mentioned to us beforehand that he was coming in to speak to us, there would be no video-recording, cameras or autographs and he would be exiting without speaking to anyone... Well, way to win over the crowd!


So yeah... he talked about stuff at Dreamworks. One of our teachers- Ted Ty- the fourth year 2D Animation professor STILL works at Dreamworks during the day and teaches here at night apparently risked a lot to bring him there. So I guess it was a big deal. He didn't say much though to make me feel like I was very special... Again- can't talk about what he said- I could lose Ted Ty his job- both at CalArts AND Dreamworks. So no go!
We all went on to Story class afterward and Jennifer wanted to know all about what he talked about. It was also the night that our animatics were due! One of my classmates, Josh, had worked himself to the point of near INSANITY trying to finish his and never showed up to class! We learned later that he'd finished (I think), went to his room and PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR! He never even made it to the bed. His roommate actually lifted him up and put him into bed. All that hard work for nothing! Mine went okay, but I was over the time limit of 90 seconds and was already trying to plan out a new story. Oh yeah, I actually talk about my own work here! WOW!

October 6th was the CalArts Film/Video School meeting in Langley. I skipped out of work during my "lunch" to go. All of the programs in the Film/Video school were there, including Character Animation. There was only about 4 students. We were REALLY nervous and we felt too awkward to say much! HAHA! But I did get to talk to Dan for a little bit.

That Thursday sucked for me because someone said something about me that I took really hard and I spent the rest of the day in a funk, until Tammy (one of the sweetest girls in the world) took me to McDonald's for some ice cream. Getting some one-on-one time with her was amazing.

That weekend (October 9th) was the 40th Reunion of CalArts! All the alumni showed up and ate and partied. I got to see lots of the stuff going on and bought a special edition shirt, but mostly I did my homework. haha! That Monday we had no classes because of Indigenous People's Day (Columbus Day to everyone else). Sadly, I pulled my first ever all-nighter on a HOLIDAY! I made it all the way to Color & Design, but made the mistake of laying down for a nap afterward "only for two hours"... and slept straight through most of Story class. I showed up for the last hour. I was told later that it was one of the best classes of the semester... FML!

That Wednesday, my flipbook for History of Character Animation was due. WHOA! I busted butt for it. I was later told that mine was one of the better ones, but I'll never know for sure because no one wanted theirs looked at!



And that Friday for Visiting Artists series, we had Shannon Tindle & Shane Prigmore from Coraline! It was supposed to be Part 1 of a 2 part visit, and they would return the following weekend, but something happened and we wouldn't see them again for weeks. Again- no details- MWA-HA! Woot! These posts are getting better, I think. Anyone want to kill me yet?

The End of All Things- I mean 2010! Pt.2

And now for the second half of classes!

Okay, so Thursday is a very long day! We have Life Drawing with Steve Brown, who has been teaching at CalArts for 10 years now! The class lasts from 9 AM until 4 PM!



Steve is kind of funny... When you first see this guy, you're like, "Wait... what?!" He looks like just a very friendly neighbor type older guy, only... he has earrings, he wears all black, basically all the time, and he likes rap and stuff! XD It's just very funny at first, but he is SO COOL! His approach to life drawing is very "conceptual", I guess, but the Administration or something determined that CalArts students needed more structure in their life drawing, so the first half of every class was dedicated to a part of the human anatomy. I LOVED IT! But the second half was very... "capture the essence" kind of stuff- which I utterly FAIL AT! So I struggled in his class... HEAVILY! So badly, in fact, that I was not getting anything good the very first class, so a classmate of mine (T- who is the most bad-ass guy you may ever meet in your LIFE!) and I DREW WITH OUR TOES!



That's right baby... We're in ART SCHOOL NOW! XD

None of my stuff was posted in the hallway, but seriously, after seeing some of the awesomeness that came out of that room, I was NOT surprised. It was the reminder to me in my first week at CalArts that I really WAS surrounded by some of the best artists in the world... A very humbling experience!

Immediately after Life drawing, I had Acting for Animators with Robert Duncan. For those of you who wanna know- Robert was the live-action reference model for Captain John Smith in Disney's Pocahontas! Talk about GEEK OUT! Wait... wait- WHUT?! OMFG!!!!!! I just found THIS! DUDE!!!! MY PROFESSOR WAS SETH IN STARGATE!!!!!! OMFG!!!!! *MAJOR GEEKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*is still trying to recover from the epic geek-out* So, in Acting class we just learned how to REACT, NOT act! It put a lot of clarity into how characters in our films should be, and gave us an idea on how to react differently to the same situation. Honestly, the class turned fairly epic when we were the first class to get actual "scenes" to memorize and perform. It was SO HARD! But more on that later.

I had a quick one hour for dinner on Thursdays, then my last class of the week- CG Character Animation! ZOMG! My professor is Robert Domingo- ALSO an animator from Dreamworks. ALSO worked on How To Train Your Dragon... AND Shrek, Enchanted, Madagascar, Treasure Planet, Mulan, Tarzan, Hercules, Lion King, Pocahontas, and The Hunchback of Notre Dame! Holy COW! Yeah! Oh, and he was the animator for Yzma! I WISH I were kidding at how awesome this guy is! (Oh, and my mentor, Dan Hansen was the Artistic Coordinator for the same film... seeing the level of amazingness of awesome yet?) Anyway, this was our HEAVY CG (aka- Maya) class. HAAAAAARD!!!! But SO MUCH FREAKING FUN! And again, Robert is not ONLY one of the guys who SERIOUSLY knows what he is talking about, but he REALLY knows how to explain it to a point that you truly understand! It's a great way to finish off one HECK of a week!

So, that's my actual classes. Section 1 has Fridays off, but Section 2 has classes. So Fridays are usually spent by me doing homework until noon when I report back to the Registrar's office for my second day or work. I spent my second day at work helping people sort out Add/Drop of classes. I resolved to not drop a single class I was registered for- a resolution I KEPT despite some very hard times. A full 15.5 units!

After work, I'd go back to my cube and continue working on homework.



UNpainted.


PAINTED! Okay, okay, so I only needed to paint my desk, the cube was a pretty calm blue and it had stars... I added more stars.

I typically spent the next 2 and a half days there. That first Friday, though I was invited to a party for the MFA's of Graphic Design. My awesome roomie, Kaoru invited me.


I didn't stay long as I felt kind of out-of-place, but they seemed like a great group. I went back to my cube, and later my room and wrote screenplays (a first for me!) Wow... wait, I just realized the lame-ness of that sentence... I left a party to go do homework... wow...
There was, however, one more party that weekend: Trevor Knapp-Jones's 21st Birthday!

If you will notice, it is made on animator's pegged paper... XD




And yes... to quell the rumors- we DID sing!

The first Sunday at school was spent in my cube, working. Boring, I know! But I animated a bouncing ball, so FEH! I enjoyed it!

The second week of school was pretty much, wash, rinse, repeat. But OMG! STILL AWESOME!!!! On Tuesday, the 21st, I was invited to Korean BBQ with s BUNCH of second years! Though, Melanie from my class went... I skipped out of Story class early to meet them. We went to BCD Tofu House- a 24 hour Korean place in LA.


I had never had one of these fish before. It was tasty, but very salty, and I had lots of bones in my teeth after... then my camera promptly DIED!

That Friday, I got a special personal one hour Maya tutorial with a GREAT student from Germany named Theresa who knows Maya REALLY WELL! We played around, but I learned a lot too. Then I had to run to work at the office. Add/Drops are INSANE! But one of my co-workers bought the whole office Golden Spoon yogurt, which was a really nice treat!

That night, we had our first (actually, I think it was second, but the first canceled on us) Visiting Artist in the Palace!
Let me explain- CalArts has animators, story artists, and other all-around AWESOME people in the industry VISIT US and talk to us about stuff! What could possibly be cooler than that?!
Well my first guy I got to see was John Kahrs- Not kidding, you guys- an animator at Pixar! (Incredibles, Bolt, Tangled, Ratatouille, A Bug's Life, Toy Story 2, etc.) What he talked about, I am not at liberty to say, sadly... MWA-HAHAHA!!!! Gotta get accepted and come to CalArts for that info! hehe The rest of the weekend, I did nothing but homework! End of Week 2- HAHAHAH! *breaks down and cries* Another entry...

Silhouettes

Presenting the project that ate TWO AND A HALF DAYS! As in- STRAIGHT! DX



Are we SURE Hobaica isn't here?!

Also, here is my animation box fold. The teacher liked our whole classes so much that he offered to post them in the Character Animation hallway this week. ZOMG!

Dan Hansen

Okay, I FINALLY got to meet/talk to my mentor today, the AMAZING Dan Hansen (if ya don't know, look him up on imdb.com!) and after our chat, I have been spurred to up my usage of this blog and use it as a way to show off my work, as was my intention when I made it. I am going to try to schedule a set time every week where I will post something here. Whether it be art, photos, just text posts, etc. Right now, it appears the time I will have to do this will be something around midnight on a week night. Weekends are completely reserved for homework, so that is a no go. But I will do my best. And if there is ever something you want me to talk about, just shoot me a comment! I'll do my best to address everything.

And I would like someone to remind me to post about meeting Mark Andrews tonight! XD

CalArts within sight!

Exactly one month to go!

Illusion of Surviving

Okay, so tonight I crawled into bed at about 6:30 PM since I only got about three hours of sleep last night working on a project that honestly couldn't seem to wait. And I think there is an underlying thing going on there, but moving on. My whole body ached from work and all I wanted was to crash.

As I lay in bed, listening to my iTunes, I suddenly started imagining my car ride and eventual goodbyes I will have to give my family in just over two months.... and I started to cry. As much as I am looking towards to September and CalArts and all my hopeful new friends, I am going to get three hugs before I leave- and they might be harder than I ever imagined. *is tearing up now just thinking about it*

Over two years ago, I wrote in "diary" entries and on Post-It notes that I was willing to give up my family, my friends, my car, my "comfortable" situation here in a state I hate, my cats, my money (for the REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE!!!), and everything else for this dream and this chance. But laying here in bed, that first thing is suddenly seeming easier said than done... How am I going to manage so far away from them? I don't even KNOW the next time I will be able to see them! It may be months or even a year.

.... I hope some of my new friends at CalArts are big huggers- because I am sensing I am going to need them very much for a while... Also, I hope they don't mind a few tears on their shoulders... Because while I don't think that there will be very many after a while, I am thinking I may not be able to see my gate number when I leave Houston.

Letters?! But it's only February!

In the past week, information has been sifting in...

One current CharAnim student at CalArts mentioned that her teacher left during class to go review portfolios, and unconfirmed reports suggest that someone has already been accepted into the program, this just the end of February. It's not even March yet!

Is it possible their job was not as difficult this year? I may be receiving a letter sooner rather than later... I don't know if I was prepped to find out this early!

Portfolio Review Notes

So I called Libby Hux at CalArts today during my lunch break and finally managed to get her in person. She had my file right there because she knew I was going to call and she gave me the notes off my portfolio from the Admissions review board.

The first note was a bit longer I think than the rest, or maybe this is several notes- whatever!
- Figurative work needs more vigor. (Part of this I already knew, but it's also good to hear it, too. I know I need to address the "vigor" part... because currently I have no idea what I actually need to DO to fix this...)
- Perspective work is good but you need to loosen up. (This was mildly unexpected, but also- GOOD TO HEAR!)
- Nice animals and layouts. (Need to analyze what exactly this means, really... Not 100% clear, but worth looking into and still trying to improve on.)
- Needs more life drawing experience. (Again, sort of already knew this, but very good to hear.)

The other note on the portfolio was:
- MORE LIFE DRAWING!

So... yeah... Libby said that the notes were overall good, but I am well aware of what my weaknesses are and what I need to address. So, now that I know this information I am forming a plan.

The Plan:
- Attend my Analysis of Form class- RELIGIOUSLY!
- sneak into "sit in" any figure drawing classes offered during Summer Session at AAU
- Attend my Figure Drawing class during Fall semester- RELIGIOUSLY!
- try to go to Dr. Sketchy's Anti-Art School in San Francisco every month
- draw the buildings of AAU (dorm, etc.)
- draw any other buildings I like in SF
- go to Golden Gate Bridge and draw that a couple of times
- start a sketchbook !!! (I haven't been able to keep on up since my art block)

When I asked Libby if there were any other things I could do to "improve" upon my portfolio through presentation, etc. she said I should go to one of the National Portfolio Days. After joking about the schedule and the improbability of being able to get to one, she suggested swinging by CalArts and meeting with her. Guess what... She's ON! I'm going to find a way to get down to Valencia once I start up school in SF, get a good direction and GO FOR IT!

Different Opinions

"I prefer that animation reach into places where live action doesn't go, and it seems like all of animation nowadays is trying to go where live action is."
Don Bluth

Okay, so occasionally, fighting with your Admissions Advisor over the classes YOU ~want~ to take versus the classes the school ~recommends~ you take CAN be lots of fun! XD

Academy of Art recommends Introduction to Computer Graphics for Animation and Analysis of Form for their Summer semester. The Analysis class actually sounds okay, but what's the use of "in-depth study of classical drawing principles to achieve heightened realism in drawings" WITHOUT A FIGURE DRAWING CLASS?!?! XD "Concepts include light and shadow analysis, modeling of form, the 5-value system, form/cast shadows, composition, perspective and value pattern. Students work on still-life, drapery, plaster cast studies, and nude figure drawing using charcoal media." Well that's fine and dandy, but I don't want to wait until Fall to take my Figure Drawing class... I only have until Late November to churn out the next portfolio for CalArts.

*shakes her head* I have been sooooo careful these past few months to ensure that people who could not know about me and CalArts didn't leak out... now I have to tread softly for the next year- ALL so that AAU doesn't find out that I am using them to apply to CalArts. It's going to be so stressful... but this is what I wanted. This may be just what I need...

Crushed Illusions

"Dear Amanda,

I regret to inform you that, after a thorough evaluation of your application, we are unable to offer you admission to the Character Animation program at the California Institute of the Arts for the Fall 2009 semester.

Please understand that the admissions process requires that very difficult choices be made, and that these decisions are final. We are unable to reconsider admissions decisions after they have been reached. However, under no circumstances should our decision be understood as a reflection on your ability or potential. CalArts is dedicated to offering small classes with professional artists/instructors, and the large number of applicants we receive each year makes it impossible to accommodate every talented applicant.

Thank you for your interest in CalArts and for all the time and energy you invested in your application. We wish you the best in your academic and creative endeavors.

Sincerely,
Molly Ryan
Director of Admissions"

So it appears that I will be moving to San Francisco this year. My honest-to-goodness best wishes to all those who have been accepted and those yet-to-have-been accepted. I know you will do amazing things in the year to come and I look forward to seeing them. I will try to learn everything I can in the year I must now wait to try again and I only hope that after that year has passed, I will be worthy of your company.

Small Illusions

wow... you guys, I actually LOST my own blog... I suck!

Anyway- slight update on the college front. Unfortunately, no letter from CalArts yet. What I ~DID~ get was a phone call (during work hours, after I have repeatedly asked them not to do) and a voice message from my admissions advisor from Academy of Art University regarding my portfolio grant I sent off about a week ago.

I have been awarded $2010 for the Summer semester!

So I need to hear back from CalArts by the end of March or they give my money to someone else...

NO PRESSURE! XD

puddle's Illusion of Life blog!

Animation is about creating the illusion of life. And you can't create it if you don't have one.
-Brad Bird

Today is February 22nd, 2009. In less than a month (optimistically), I will know whether or not I am moving to San Francisco, California or Valencia, California to begin my life as an animation student. This blog's purpose is to document my path from wanna-be animator to animation student to (someday) professional animator.

Realistic prediction: I will be rejected my first try at California Institute of the Arts and will be "forced" to attend Academy of Art University in San Francisco. Whereupon, I will continue submitting my portfolio every year to CalArts until I am accepted into their Character Animation program.

Optimistic predicition: I will be ACCEPTED to CalArts (YAY!) and will move to Valencia to begin the next four toughest years of my life with the most amazing artists in the country.

Currently, I simply am suffering from the waiting game. Regardless of where the fate of the next year of my life resides, I will post my progress, failures, updates and all the little squishy stuff between the toes.